Monthly Archives: October 2014

Quitting my job meant commiting to my marriage.

workI hear many moms explain that they “stopped working” for their kids, but I cannot claim that noble reason. I stopped working because I couldn’t balance.  It was clear that I couldn’t get rid of the kids so the job had to go.  For me it was about self-preservation.

This decision also brought me to an incredulous realization.  The moment I truly knew I was committed to my husband wasn’t on my wedding day. This is my second marriage, and those of us who belong to the divorce club tend to be more skeptical and cautious in our love lives. I didn’t realize I was “all-in” after the birth of our children either. No, the moment I realized I was truly committed to my husband was the day I quit my job.  Giving up my financial independence was equivalent to a bad bungie jump. Continue reading

The Friendship Box.

shutterstock_189141029My boy came home from school the other day and couldn’t focus on his homework.  I could tell that something was bothering him.  Mom’s intuition helped me hear the nuances in his tone,  see the twist in his facial expression and feel the quiver in his voice.  It was clear  that something was on his mind.  As I turned towards him to give him a hug,  he melted into my arms.  “I’ve had the worst day, mom,” he said.

In a nutshell, my son felt conflicted and confused about someone he calls a friend.  What was previously a positive interaction has started to become increasingly negative.  My son feels talked down to, labeled, criticized and dismissed.  He’s doesn’t understand why a friend would treat him this way. Continue reading

Mommy, is heaven real?

IMG_0643“Mommy…is heaven real?”

Has your child asked you this question?  Mine has, and this moment has a way of kicking open the door to my heart’s panic room.  I no longer believe in the literal or picturesque concept of heaven I once held as a child.  There are no more diaphanous angels flying around the clouds for me, the large pearly gate has disappeared and St. Peter has quietly walked away from his responsibilities as gate keeper.   As I’ve had my own children and have become more knowledgeable about the physical world, I have found it difficult to simplify the spiritual.  I have consciously decided to raise my children outside of any organized or religious doctrine.  This is my secret, in a world of the faithful, sometimes I feel like I stand alone.

As a child, my mom took my brothers and me to church every weekend.  The lessons my parents and childhood faith taught me were invaluable.  I have passed those lessons on to my children, but not with the words “because the bible tells you so,” linked to them.  Treating others as they would want to be treated, trying hard not to judge our neighbors, being loyal to themselves and to others, they have these lessons embedded in their hearts.  They have an amazing foundation, unbelievable character and are more loyal and kinder than the average Joe. Continue reading