I AM….Two of the most powerful words in midlife.


In my childhood I was naive.  In my teen years I was insecure and a bit of a brat towards my parents.  My college years consisted of chaos and some education mixed in.  In my twenties I defined my adult identity but rushed it and would up married with a baby and unsure of my place in life.  In my thirties I was a divorced single mom.  In my forties I was mother to three, a wife and career minded.   This year I turn fifty and I am actively considering the new me.  I am trying to finish the phrase “I am.”


I am already seeing massive changes in my life.  To start with, I don’t recognize my own body.  It has changed significantly.  This has been going on for some time now, ever since i hit my forties.  Hello Mary Menopause!  Nice to meet you!  My children are getting older.  One out of three children is most likely to snuggle with me while the other two could go a complete day doing their own thing.  They need me less and less.  My identity is not as tightly tied to them.  I am no longer chasing little ones around the house and instead share a home with fiercely independent kids.

I have a choice.  I can embrace this time in my life or I can fight it.  In truth there is no fighting it. No amount of botox, nights out with friends or selfies on Facebook changes anyone’s truth when you reach forty and above.  Those who live in the past and identify so strongly with their past are not growing.   Lack of growth is a problem.  It leads to the negative connotation of a midlife crisis.   If you feel like this then it may be time to ask yourself a basic question.

Who am I?

Who are you today?  If you feel lost or unhappy or in some kind of midlife crisis, the secret is to work on yourself.  That’s it.  Happiness truly does come from within. Work…on…your…own…shit.  No amount of outside purchases, jobs, people, friends, or anything material can answer this question successfully.  Band-aids on problems don’t work any longer.  You have to own your truth.

Who are you?  To answer this question you have to use two of the most powerful words in the English language:  I AM.  Can you write that down?  I AM.  Now answer it.  Answer what you are today and what you would like to be.  Work on the new you.  Let go of the old you and build something new, strong and a you that can enjoy all phases of your life.


6 thoughts on “I AM….Two of the most powerful words in midlife.

  1. Andrea

    Such a timely article. That is exactly what I’m doing now- because everything you wrote there- that’s me. Time to figure it out!

  2. Katrina

    Girl, you ALWAYS hit is right on key!!!!! I will be turning 54 next month, have had the blessing of not meeting Mary Menopause yet, and have found who I AM. I am content that I will never be 125 pounds again, as long as I strive to be healthy, I am happy. I am a woman that has years of experience in life, good and bad, but strive to find peace and happiness. I am a woman that likes the lines on my face, and does not feel the need for Botox, I loved the beautiful face that my grandmothers had, and look forward to being like that one day. I am proud of the woman that I am and that I have amazing sons (who find less and less time to spend with me as they grow). I am a woman that has finally found her confidence and self respect again, and if others can not treat me the way I deserve, they can go for a long long walk away from me. I am a woman who loves deeply, appreciates the small things in life, wears her heart on her sleeve, believes in lots of laughter and treats others as God would want her to do………..I am also a woman that does not hold back her tongue anymore, and lets the NY Italian side let you know when you piss me off!!!……………………………….. It is sad that it took me to my 50’s to find myself, but I gotta say, I LOVE BEING ME, and look forward to all the future has for me……………So, my dear friend, this year you will be entering into the FABULOUS FIFTIES, it is an amazing part of this roller coaster ride of life, and well worth it. LOVE ya bunches

  3. Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas

    I’m having a more exciting time at 51 than I’ve had at any other age – I’m writing a blog and I’m on social media! Let’s hear it for starting new adventures at 50! 🙂 (I’m also having to buy Tena Lady in bulk but let’s not dwell on the negatives lol!)


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