In my childhood I was naive. In my teen years I was insecure and a bit of a brat towards my parents. My college years consisted of chaos and some education mixed in. In my twenties I defined my adult identity but rushed it and would up married with a baby and unsure of my place in life. In my thirties I was a divorced single mom. In my forties I was mother to three, a wife and career minded. This year I turn fifty and I am actively considering the new me. I am trying to finish the phrase “I am.”
I am already seeing massive changes in my life. To start with, I don’t recognize my own body. It has changed significantly. This has been going on for some time now, ever since i hit my forties. Hello Mary Menopause! Nice to meet you! My children are getting older. One out of three children is most likely to snuggle with me while the other two could go a complete day doing their own thing. They need me less and less. My identity is not as tightly tied to them. I am no longer chasing little ones around the house and instead share a home with fiercely independent kids.
I have a choice. I can embrace this time in my life or I can fight it. In truth there is no fighting it. No amount of botox, nights out with friends or selfies on Facebook changes anyone’s truth when you reach forty and above. Those who live in the past and identify so strongly with their past are not growing. Lack of growth is a problem. It leads to the negative connotation of a midlife crisis. If you feel like this then it may be time to ask yourself a basic question.
Who am I?
Who are you today? If you feel lost or unhappy or in some kind of midlife crisis, the secret is to work on yourself. That’s it. Happiness truly does come from within. Work…on…your…own…shit. No amount of outside purchases, jobs, people, friends, or anything material can answer this question successfully. Band-aids on problems don’t work any longer. You have to own your truth.
Who are you? To answer this question you have to use two of the most powerful words in the English language: I AM. Can you write that down? I AM. Now answer it. Answer what you are today and what you would like to be. Work on the new you. Let go of the old you and build something new, strong and a you that can enjoy all phases of your life.