Sometimes you fall before you fly.

sunriseI remember sitting on the beach, the morning sun glistening like diamonds on the water.  The gentle breeze whispered through strands of my long hair.  Waves crashed on the shore and seagulls sang their morning song.   While I connected to the beauty around me, I also found the courage to reflect on my failed marriage and the loss of my identity.  On that beach I faced myself, became accountable for my bad decisions, and stripped away the layers of who I thought I was in order to reveal my authentic and true self.

This was the moment when I realized that sometimes you need to fall before you fly.

Who was I?  I was the wife to a man who did not love me.  I was a mother to a beautiful baby boy.  I was an extremist in that I had sacrificed my dreams, my beliefs and yes, even some of my values to make another person happy.

Who did I want to be?  I wanted to be my true self, strong in my values and in my own unique way.   I wanted to be the best mother to my son while also working hard to realize my own potential.  I wanted to understand those actions that I owned that contributed to my journey.  I decided not to be a victim but rather, to be accountable.  I decided to dig deep.

What journeys have you been on?  What sickness have you survived?  What addiction have you conquered?  What demon have you overcome?  How can there be a GOD who would allow such suffering?   I myself have struggled with this very question.

However, I may have an answer.  Without trials and tribulations there is no growth, there is no free will to decide who you are and who you will become and how high you will fly.  There is no strength resulting in how you overcome life’s challenges.  There is no gift of self.

People think you’re weak if you love too strong or fall too hard.   Those people don’t see that it’s not a weakness.  It is opportunity to stand back up.  That’s what strength is.   It’s easy to not fall, to remain safe in our little bubbles.  Falling over and over and over again, getting your bruises and cuts and all, will one day lead to grace and wisdom – true success and perseverance.

One young woman expressed the start of her own journey through the analogy of stripping away layers of clothing, and as she started to put them back on, the clothes no longer fit.  They had changed.  She had changed….everything was different.  It was time to let go, mourn what was and celebrate the possibility of what could be.  She is working on stitching together new clothes, ones that will truly fit and show the world how bright she can shine.

And she will fly.

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