When We All Stayed Home

When we all stayed at home during the pandemic it was complete chaos. Many of us social distanced and my kids were sent home for the year. In addition, my husband closed down his remote work office and brought it all home. This is a story of my chaos.

The Introvert in Me

Ten minutes ago I was hiding in the basement. Every morning I do some kind of workout, but instead of feeling rejuvenated, I feel apathetic and unmotivated to move. “Maybe I should meditate?” I thought. “Maybe if I force myself to smile, I would feel better!” As I forced myself to smile, I looked a little out of it. The introvert in me is dying a slow death. We all need to stay home and engage in social distancing but I’m slowly losing my mind.

School

My husband and I bought school desks for the kids so they could take their online classes. That plan has completely fallen apart. My youngest son is in his room, door locked and in the dark. He’s home today because his allergies are crushing him. My middle son is all over the house. ALL OVER THE HOUSE. He’s throwing the ball to the dog and he’s eating everything in sight. I see him taking online classes while walking throughout the house. Then he is scaring his brother during lunch breaks, stealing computer chargers and then running outside into the woods. My husband is in his home office where we can hear every word to every conference call. I can hear every single word.

There is nowhere for me to hide. My mental load is off of the charts. If you don’t quite understand what mental load is, please click here. I have emails to sort through, deliverables to finalize, and normal chores that need to be done. The laundry is overflowing and I don’t want to cook one more meal. My middle child is singing at the top of his lungs and dropped his phone. Nope, now he’s running into the basement. I’m afraid to see what he left in the kitchen. Oh! He’s back, no wait, he ran downstairs again.

There is No More Normal

Chaos. What does your chaos look like? What would normal look like?

Silence but it is nowhere to be found. I don’t need the pandemic to be over so I can go places. I need the pandemic to be over so they can go places but they LIKE IT HERE. The good news is that summer is close and when their stress levels go down, so does mine. The next few weeks will be SOL tests, AP tests, graduation celebrations for both boys. Summer starts at the end of June for us when we will end this chaotic year with a bang.

What will the fall look like? I can hardly think about it, but it has to be better right? And yet, I can’t end this post without a moment of gratitude. My family has gone through this last year with relative stability. Many of you have suffered losses, out of work, or are struggling with isolation while we wait for vaccines. We all stayed home to protect ourselves and our loved ones but there’s a cost for social distancing.

Let’s get through this together. So now I will end this post, shut my computer and get my act together. Have a wonderful day!