How Covid Changed Me

Covid changed me. During the beginning of the pandemic I was hyper-focused on preventing sickness and keeping my family safe. People would tell you that I was super conservative. I social distanced solidly for six months until the vaccines were available. I didn’t long for what was nor was I angry at the situation. If fact, it was with disbelieve that I watched friends blame everyone and anything other than a global pandemic. My inner pepper came out I and short of learning morse code, hunkered down like a contestant on Survivor minus the weight loss. There was toilet paper in my garage and a closet full of medicine in case I needed to treat any future viral symptoms.

Normalcy and Happiness

Covid robbed us of our normalcy and happiness. Most of us lost an entire year of normalcy while others angrily tried to force normalcy back into their lives. When you LOSE an entire year of your “normal” life, you realize that you should really take a hard cold look at what you do with your time and who you spend that time with every day. This is another way Covid changed me, it forced me to evaluate the preciousness of my time and who I spent that time with each and every day.

Lessons Learned and Changes Made

  1. I quit Facebook. The hate, anger and vitriol that existed on that platform was so toxic. I no longer opened myself up to that negativity. My catalyst was the documentary “The Social Dilemma.” This documentary was life-changing. An entire generation has become anxious and depressed due to social media. The algorithms embedded into channels like Facebook are manipulating and supporting polarization. The end result is behavior modification. If I disagree with you on something political, I’d love to have a conversation with you. However, if I have to see one way communication without any positive discourse, then toxic assumptions are created. Who wants to increase the amount of craziness online?” Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and Facebook is monetizing on polarization.
  2. I started to exercise six days a week. If I was going to get COVID-19, my heart and lungs were going to be in tip-top shape. I don’t have to fight off the zombies, I just have to run faster than you!
  3. I faced some hard truths about myself. Before the pandemic I was on auto pilot. I over think. I over love. I over do. I over help. I over care. All of this over-the-top winds up hurting me more than anyone else. Covid changed me in that in forced me to accept the unacceptable and forced me to prioritize myself. Sometimes you don’t realize you’re drowning when you’re trying to be everyone else’s anchor.
  4. There are two kinds of friendships in every single friendship. For example, my friend Brenda and I have two friendships in one. We have a friendship based on daily stress, what’s going on in our families and our stories about work and life. Then we have this other friendship, the one where we laugh until we pee, the one where I’ll do stupid things and be my real self, the one where she’ll be her real authentic self, the one we both push down because we are just trying to get through our days. That brings me to this realization: “A true friendship needs to be nurtured and based on our true selves.” In order to do that, it’s important that you spend time together outside of your family, outside of your stress and outside of your daily lives. You need to laugh, share, understand and love each other for everything that you are and everything you’re not. Behind every successful woman are friends that give her crazy ideas.
  5. We are all warriors. We navigated a global pandemic, online school, too much togetherness and an ongoing bad version of the movie “GroundHog’s Day.” Were we scared? Hell yea. Did we worry? Yup, but then…slowly, ever so slowly we picked up our swords and let out a battle cry. When you hear your inner worrier, it’s time to find your inner warrior.
  6. It’s time to heal and recuperate. Right now I’m writing this from a hotel. I hit that wall this week and I hit it hard. I just needed to take one, just one vacation day from my life. After a book, swim, a hike and time to myself, I feel like I’m ready to face another day. Tune in with yourself, and even if it’s in your own home, find a way to feed your soul. DON’T FEEL GUILTY! The answers you seek never come when the mind is busy, they come when the mind is still.

So what have you learned from the pandemic? Did Covid change you and your priorities?

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2 responses to “How Covid Changed Me”

  1. […] When we experienced pandemic school closures, the response was varied. Some were angry and blamed the schools. Others, like myself were so focused on keeping our kids healthy that we just dealt with the cards we were dealt. Being a mom during the pandemic was hard and our mental load went on overdrive. We worked 12-15 hour days. Our roles as head chef, manager of IT and the constant clean up behind them while they struggled was exhausting. ,The hubby logged off of his computer at 6pm and eagerly asked “What’s for dinner!” How did Moms get time to breathe a little? We didn’t. Covid changed me. […]

  2. […] We’ve redefined our friendships. Some friends became angry, looking for someone to blame. Others became withdrawn and reclusive. Then there were the friends who started working out every day, because that was the one thing they COULD control, almost like a physical virus insurance policy. Introverts told me that not much changed in their lives. Some were supportive and many others were not. Loving friendships became stronger. Covid changed me. […]

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Lorraine Lundqvist

A blog highlighting my journey through midlife and beyond. Join me as I enjoy the ups and humorous downs of life over 40.

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