Tuesday I spent way too much time on the phone, on Facebook, and on the internet in general. You know that saying “sometimes you just have to hit rock bottom before making a change?” I hit rock bottom alright, hit the bottom of the stairs because instead of watching myself as I walked down, someone was checking emails and fell down instead. I’m not hurt so go ahead and giggle! This is where I interject how much I love my husband. He is so very patient and knows me so well. He bought me an Otterbox cover for my phone because I have a history of dropping items that shatter easily (like my previous two phones). The fall jarred me quite a bit and the iPhone sailed six feet in the air and crashed on the wood floor, landing without a scratch. Thank you husband and thank you Otterbox! My embarrassment at the fact that I’ve become one of those “idiots on their phones,” led to a decision to unplug and stay off social media and phone for the day.
I needed to get some errands done so I decided to go the mall! That exclamation point there is for you. I despise shopping but have been putting off Christmas present returns for quite some time. Hating shopping is a terrible affliction because it means that you may spend your days in sweatpants and a pajama top that you think passes as a t-shirt and your hatred for shopping leads you with nothing to wear. This interchangeable pajama t-shirt works until one day in a sunny classroom at your son’s Christmas party, one of the dads keeps staring at your shirt. You keep looking down to see if you have frosting on you from the gingerbread house craft. It’s only upon returning home that you realize that your pajama t-shirt is basically see through and you were wearing a black bra that didn’t quite fit right…..but I digress.
The excursion started off smoothly, I was able to park in a front parking spot and took that as a good omen. As I walked into the mall I started mumbling the words “I hate shopping,” and walked down the entry hall towards my stores and errands. In the back of my mind I thought that perhaps I’d shop for some nicer mommy uniforms (aka sweat suits) after the returns were done.
I lovingly glanced at the ice cream pretzel stand. Then I noticed that the man behind the counter was licking his fingers. The joy from acquiring the front parking spot vanished in that very moment. Have I mentioned I hate shopping?
This is the point where I had to break my rule and text one of my friends and share the licking story. Her first response was “who is this” because she knows very well how I feel about being at the mall. Her second response was that she really wanted a pretzel. I giggled the entire way up the escalator. Thank goodness I didn’t take the stairs! Note to self: I need to practice staying off of my iPhone.
The store that I had to go to was behind the kids play area. The kids play area is a very special place, a place full of viruses, germs, head lice and weary mothers trying to exhaust junior, willing to risk a little cold or worse so nap time will actually happen. My kids are in school full-time so I had to dance a little jig as I passed them by. Hang on mommies it gets better and one day you too will be dancing as you pass the play area!
I returned my overpriced deadbolt lock, pulled myself away from the automatic bartender machine and hurried past the mall joggers. My Fitbit Flex was cheering me on at 6,000 steps! Drat! I’ve beaten those mall rats and the bookstore is in the opposite direction (text friend is laughing right now if she reads this since my directional skill is nonexistent). I adore books and it makes me so sad to see that we are losing bookstores left and right. I hope and pray that “books” will still be around when our grandchildren are born but I fear that the world will go completely digital.
Speaking of hard copies, if you are going to buy a survival guide you need a hard copy. In the event of an apocalyptic disaster the Kindle will just not do! I did find the bookstore and bought two survival guides, one for me and another for a friend’s birthday. I have three hard copy survival guides so I can compare notes if I am ever in the middle of a zombie apocalypse and what not.
I still wanted to buy my sweat suit and headed towards the department store. On the way I saw a glorious vision, neon lights and the fun that is Spencer’s! It is in this glorious place of geekdom that I found the perfect present for my text friend that always makes me laugh.I am so excited about my purchase that I run out of the mall, and completely forget the high scale department store and my mission to buy a new mommy uniform. Priorities are priorities after all!
It was a good day, I still hate shopping and probably would not have remained in such a great mood had I bought a new mommy uniform. Fluorescent lighting is just not my thing and sometimes a woman has days where she should stay away from fitting rooms. Shopping is fun when it is for my children’s school clothes, a gift to make a great friend smile or to surprise a loved one, otherwise I will probably still avoid it like the plague. I suspect that very soon my friends will eventually stage a fashion intervention and I will have to venture out to the mall before spring. Ugh I hope not.
Want a pretzel?