Depression in Midlife

Type the phrase “depression in midlife” in an internet search bar and you’ll find numerous scholarly articles. These articles describe depressive disorders, midlife changes and eventually lead you to numerous help disclaimers and support options. What they don’t tell you is how damn common it is. I often struggle myself.

Undiagnosed

How many of us are undiagnosed? I have friends who have been clinically depressed their entire lives and are seeking treatment. Those experiencing midlife depression have not sought help. I wonder how many people dismiss their own depression. Women are more likely to be depressed and over 7 million adults over 65 are suffering from depression. SEVEN MILLION!

Midlife Depression

The news is not good. Not only are more women diagnosed, but the hormonal changes in midlife make us moving targets. I’m tired of reading articles that only describe midlife feelings, not because they’re untrue, but because hormonal changes are often left out of the discussion. My entire system has been out of whack for over ten years but not once did I receive help. My former GYN never suggested that I address the imbalance or seek treatment. In fact, when my libido started to wane, something we women don’t talk about enough, she said, “Oh that happens to everyone, it is what it is.”

It is what it is…

Signs of Midlife Depression

10 common depression symptoms (Taken from helpguide.org)

• Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. A bleak outlook—nothing will ever get better and there’s nothing you can do to improve your situation.
• Loss of interest in daily activities. You don’t care anymore about former hobbies, pastimes, social activities, or sex. You’ve lost your ability to feel joy and pleasure.
• Appetite or weight changes. Significant weight loss or weight gain—a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month.
• Sleep changes. Either insomnia, especially waking in the early hours of the morning, or oversleeping.
• Anger or irritability. Feeling agitated, restless, or even violent. Your tolerance level is low, your temper short, and everything and everyone gets on your nerves.
• Loss of energy. Feeling fatigued, sluggish, and physically drained. Your whole body may feel heavy, and even small tasks are exhausting or take longer to complete.
• Self-loathing. Strong feelings of worthlessness or guilt. You harshly criticize yourself for perceived faults and mistakes.
• Reckless behavior. You engage in escapist behavior such as substance abuse, compulsive gambling, reckless driving, or dangerous sports.
• Concentration problems. Trouble focusing, making decisions, or remembering things.
• Unexplained aches and pains. An increase in physical complaints such as headaches, back pain, aching muscles, and stomach pain.

What Does It Feel Like?

You wake up in the morning with a sense of dread and tightness in your chest, simply because you’ve opened your eyes. Exercise helps temporarily but the natural endorphins wane shortly thereafter. Doubt enters your mind that something is wrong, simply because you believe you have no “right” to be depressed or anxious. Sleep is your friend but shouldn’t be. Alcohol is now a huge risk because it’s a depressant and adds to your current hormonal imbalance and magnifies the negative impact on your mental health. Loneliness and self isolation set in and you can’t find the energy to engage with others. When you start to feel sad, you push it down so you don’t break the seal and burst into tears. Hopelessness sets in.

Hormones (Women)

You’re not imagining things. During perimenopause and menopause, estrogen and progesterone levels fall. This drop in hormones often triggers depression. Many of my friends are also suffering from lack of sleep. It’s known that not getting enough sleep leads to weight gain, a weaker immune system and the likelihood of depression. We’re pros at hormonal shifts, having a lifetime of monthly cycles and with those cycles, extreme irritability. That was child’s play compared to menopause.

Hormones (Men)

Although men don’t have as many hormonal shifts, it’s unfair to dismiss the changes what they experience. Quite often, a man’s identity is tied to his career and as a career winds down, there are many mental shifts that coincide and make it more difficult to find a strong sense of purpose. Coupled with this social challenge is the serious decline of testosterone. Low testosterone leads to a reduction in muscle mass, increases irritability and can lead to depressive episodes.

Treatment

A combination of hormone therapy and an anti-depressant may be one path to addressing symptoms of depression for both men and women. There are some risks with HRT for women, but those risks are significantly decreased if you get treatment before the age of sixty. Men can seek help for their lower testosterone levels. Midlife seems to be the forgotten time for medical treatment and preventative medicine. Most people suffer through it all, hoping that their hormone levels will stabilize and they’ll just adapt to a new normal. Seek the help of a medical professional because I certainly am not one!

So far it’s not working for me though.

Therapy

I’m a believer in therapy but many hesitate to seek help. Therapy can dig down into the psychological challenges in midlife, and can help you understand why you are resistant to taking steps toward self care. When I was going through my divorce many years ago, it was through therapy that I realized that my inability to know my own worth was damaging me more than the pain of divorce. It helped me build myself back up and understand that I did not have to be a victim, but instead could empower myself to heal and pave a new path for myself and my son. It wasn’t easy or perfect, in fact my journey was full of mistakes and mishaps, but I eventually go there.

Have you struggled with depression during midlife? Did you seek help? I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments.