I AM: Two Words That Shape Your Reality

The Words “I am”

The words “I am” are really about your changing identity. In my childhood I was naive.  In my teen years, I was insecure and a bit of a brat towards my parents.  My college years consisted of chaos and some education mixed in.  My twenties brought uncertainty as I hurried life and ended up married with a baby, unsure of my future.  In my thirties, I was a divorced single mom.  In my forties, I was a mother to three, a wife, and career-minded.   Now, in my fifties, I am actively considering the new me.  I am trying to finish the phrase “I am.”

My fifties!

Midlife Changing Identity

I am already seeing massive changes in my life.  To start with, I don’t recognize my own body.  It has changed significantly.  This has been going on for some time now, ever since I hit my forties.  Hello Mary Menopause!  Nice to meet you!  My children are getting older.  One out of three children is most likely to snuggle with me while the other two could go a complete day doing their own thing.  They need me less and less.  My identity is not as tightly tied to them.

I have a choice, I can embrace this time in my life or I can fight it.  In truth, there is no fighting it. No amount of Botox, nights out with friends, or selfies on Facebook changes anyone’s truth when you reach forty and above.  Those who live in the past and identify so strongly with their past are not growing.   Lack of growth is a problem.  It leads to the negative connotation of a midlife crisis.   If you feel like this then it may be time to ask yourself a basic question.

Taking the Time to Look Inside

I have often defined myself with my life experiences. A wife, divorce, a career and a mom are words I’ve used to answer the questions of my identity of the years. However, when you hit fifty and in the years beyond, why don’t we try to define ourselves by describing our souls? Then, after we do that, maybe we just embrace that core of us and give it a warm hug and truly work on believing that it’s enough.

Who am I?

Who are you today?  If you feel lost or unhappy or in a midlife crisis, the secret is to work on yourself.  That’s it.  Happiness truly does come from within. No amount of outside purchases, jobs, people, friends, or anything material can answer this question successfully.  Band-aids on problems don’t work any longer.  You have to own your truth.

Who are you?  To answer this question you have to use two of the most powerful words in the English language:  I AM.  Can you write that down?  I AM.  Now answer it.  Answer what you are today and what you would like to be.  Work on the new you.  Let go of the old you and build something new, strong, and a you that can enjoy all phases of your life.

To quote the book “I Am Enough:”

“And in the end, we are right here, to live a life of love not fear,

to help each other when it’s tough

to say together,

I am Enough”

Keturah A. Bobo