I Feel So Overwhelmed

I haven’t been myself lately and I feel so overwhelmed. Sometimes I feel like I’m the foundation of a very heavy building and mentally and physically holding up the entire structure. People keep placing items on top of that structure and are adding to my mental load. They add financial concerns, aging, parenting challenges, my friends’ problems, Facebook noise, and dog puke on the carpet. I still haven’t steam-cleaned it and I’m barely holding it together. Why do I feel so overwhelmed? All of the above!

You’re Only as Happy as Your Unhappiest Child

My husband said: “You’re only as happy as your unhappiest child.” This rang true as I was juggling some minor parenting crises. When I originally wrote this in 2019, I didn’t know that a pandemic was only eight months away. When our children struggle, there is an immediate burden that seems too heavy to carry. It’s the reason that summer vacation is a mental health necessity. I mean, who is unhappy during summer vacation? Even if you work during the summer, the lack of commitment for the kids helps everyone’s state of mind. It’s time for all of us to get a bit of a break. It’s time to feel the sun on our faces.

Grief Pushes Us Over The Edge

Right now my mood and my mental well-being are a mess. I have never felt so off my game. I’m pretty convinced this is just an indication of having my flight or fight instincts on overdrive. To top it all off, this past Friday we lost a best friend to a sudden heart attack. My husband is devastated and one more brick has been added to the top of the structure that I was holding. My knees have started to buckle under the strain. It has left us feeling powerless and scared, angry and grief-stricken. He was the very best of all of us and the loss we feel is unfathomable and spans across the ocean.

Advice from My Sister-in-law

While on a walk, my sister-in-law gave me sound advice. She told me to identify those people in my life who truly lift me up, not the takers, but the people who understand that friendship is about give and take. Look for the ones who are there when you need them. She told me that it is her “girlfriends” that lift her up at the times when she needs them most. We women are the ones who stand next to each other’s foundation and lift our arms and hearts up to ease the strain of the burden we all carry.

What Helped Me

So after I returned home I went on a walk with a friend. Then I planned another with a different friend. I allowed myself to accept a dinner invitation and sat in the sunshine and talked. It was so healing. I posted on Instagram that I felt down and depressed. I never do that. I am usually trying to come up with messages that help others, and don’t usually request to be lifted up myself. I received positive messages of love and support that I badly needed.

Depression

Feelings of hopelessness may lead to depression. How many women say “I am feeling so overwhelmed and I can’t do anything? Many are diagnosed with clinical depression. How do you help someone with depression? Talk. Listen. Care. Encourage them to get help. Those in a dark place, are often suffering in silence. They need connection. We need to help them open the door, and tell them that they are loved and are not alone. The song How to Save a Life was so impactful because the lead singer wrote the song based on his experiences working in a camp for troubled teens. If you feel hopeless or are feeling depressed, please reach out and get help.

Do I Still Feel Overwhelmed?

All of the time. I’m feeling a bit better today and am grateful for those who have given me their love and support. My plan is to start each day this week with a walk with my dogs, to care about what I put inside of my body, and to surround myself with people who care. My plan is to publish this post to let others know that they are not alone, especially if they are feeling down and overwhelmed, that it is indicative of midlife, older kids, bigger problems, and incredible changes in other areas of our lives as well. We are all stronger together so find your friends and reach out to them!

So move over while I help you carry your burden.