The Lies of Anxiety

A horrible panic attack one Sunday morning opened my eyes to my growing anxiety. In fact, the attack was so bad that my husband wanted to take me to the hospital. We were both scared as I gasped for breath. Intellectually I understood what was going on, but knowing you are having a panic attack doesn’t help you pull through it. After I exhausted myself, my body started to relax and I was able to continue my day. The lies that anxiety was telling me was that I was not loved.

Anxiety Trigger

The cause of my anxiety attack was brought on by a social-distancing disagreement with three people that I loved dearly. I was devastated by the loss. “Sometimes to love is to risk not being loved in return.” This was one of the most painful lessons in my life, I could not hold my grief inside and my body shut down. I put too much importance on this relationship and could not stop overthinking of ways to solve the issue. The lies that anxiety told me was that it was my fault and I deserved the mistreatment.

Fight or Flight Blah Blah Blah

I know that from a very primal place, anxiety is a fight or flight response that is no longer needed in the modern world. We aren’t facing lions in the savannah and don’t need the intense rush of adrenaline that often comes with a panic attack. I never realized that I suffered from anxiety until I had children, and saw it reflected in their eyes. When I was growing up we didn’t put labels on “nerves.”

Anxiety in My Youth

In hindsight, I realize that I had anxiety as a child. As a young girl, I complained of severe stomach aches. My mother and teacher linked my symptom to test-taking. During my career, there were moments that triggered my flight response. One such situation was a sales exercise in which we had to sell each other a new car. I went into pure panic mode. How could I sell a car that I haven’t seen? How could anyone sell a car without proper information and why was I the only one who thought this was an impossible exercise! I did the only thing I could do, I hid in the bathroom. The lies that anxiety told me was that everyone should approach the problem in the same way. I could have embraced my uniqueness and approached the exercise with that trait.

Anxiety and Lies About Not Being Good Enough

Social media doesn’t help. My blog and business mean that I’m on social media and every day there is an overabundance of negativity hitting me. The trolls, the vitriol and the lack of respect for each other saddens me. True friends don’t talk about politics and debate every single day. Now when I see a neighbor or share a glass of wine with a friend we laugh and talk and don’t hold any of that negativity in our hearts due to some kind of social media post. Social media is not the last contact you should have with a friend. The lies of anxiety told me that negative opinions were aimed at me. They were not, but instead, they revealed other people’s character flaws and fears.

Sensitive Souls

I’ve always felt like the black sheep and labeled too sensitive at a very young age. My husband knows this about me. In order for me to feel normal, I have to exercise every single day. There’s so much judgment and negativity in our world, those who have sensitivity as their superpower, need to either numb ourselves or find coping mechanisms. If I don’t exercise, I wake up in the middle of the night with an elephant on my chest. At times, I’ll wake up with feelings of depression for no reason. The only thing that works for me is exercise. It’s starting to get to a point where I’ve considered working out twice a day just to feel normal.

What Helps Someone Cope with Anxiety?

Today I have implemented several habits to address my anxiety disorder. Sleep and exercise are at the top of my list, and I’ve practiced meditation and breathing techniques. I’ve also identify some of my triggers which is very important. I’ve written about that here. In the end, when you are struggling with anxiety or depression, you need the love of your family and friends to lift you up so don’t isolate yourself. Take the time to quiet your mind and allow perspective to soak into your heart. You have the power to create one hell of a beautiful life – anxiety and it’s lies be damned.

For more information on coping with anxiety, please visit the Mayo Clinic’s website here.