Missing you

My Grandmother

I am missing you.  When I look down at my aging hands I see you. I remember sitting next to you on the sofa, tracing the veins on your hands and thinking that your skin was beautiful and soft while you knew that your skin looked thinner and more frail.  Now you are gone, but I hold you close by looking at my own hands.  In my heart there are fading memories. Thank you for all of the joy, lessons and love that you have given me.

My Children

I am missing you.  I remember when you were a young and adored me.  You don’t adore me to that extent any longer.  You’ve become an independent, strong, young man with your own thoughts, opinions and personality.  I am missing being needed even though I know I am loved.  Please do not judge me so harshly like kids are prone to do.  To me, you were perfect and you have made me a better person. The smiles, the sickness, the teenage angst and the challenges that have come with growing up was all worth it.  I love you.

My Friend

I am missing you.  No longer can you neglect your health.   We are at the age when life catches up to us.  Your tired heart and lungs, weary heart and mind has taken years of neglect.  I mourn you before it is time because I do not see a future with you in it. No one’s future is guaranteed so prove me wrong.  One day we must all say goodbye but we should not speed up that clock.

And you, my friend from long ago. We have separated and went on different paths. Deep inside my heart I know that we have both learned valuable lessons from our friendship, but we also know it was not meant to be forever. The beautiful thing about aging is that you constantly grow and sometimes you grow apart. It is what it is. I miss the days of youth, but would never go back to them. Sometimes it is the same with friendships. They are not meant to be revisited even though we tried. I wish you well and I will always care about you.

My Childhood

I am missing you.  Missed are the days of my youth when I would sing in my family’s car on a road trip and imagine I was flying through the air.   Lazy days by the pool and Italian ice with wooden spoons. Ice cream trucks, parks, little league games and Charlie’s Angels trading cards.  Eighties music, the first boxes of mac and cheese that we thought were actually healthy and Saturday morning cartoons, the only time when a kid could watch cartoons.  Joy came easy.  Today I make my own joy, I work at it and pay attention.

Missing the People You Love

I am missing you but you are all woven inside the fabric of my being.  The lessons, the laughter, the joy, the heartache and all of those experiences have brought me to this road.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.  Yes I am missing you but more than that, I am celebrating the gifts you have given me.  I hope you can say the same when you think of me.