Once I became an empty nester, I found that I enjoyed cooking. This surprised me. I never learned how to cook much beyond a couple of recipes my mother made when I was growing up. Over the years, my neighbor taught me how to grill a ribeye and how to make a darn good rib roast. She’s a foodie, and I’ve learned a lot from her, but that was the extent of my repertoire.
Now, as an empty nester, with my kids gone, I’ve found a surprising enjoyment in trying new recipes. Until now, cooking felt like a chore. The kids needed to eat, so it became just another task piled on top of my already heavy mental load.
Ironically, I now have more time, and the only food critic is me, myself, and I. Low-carb recipes appear on my Instagram feed, and the motivation to make dishes I actually enjoy strengthens my resolve. One of my favorite sites is Andy’s East Coast Kitchen. In fact, I follow many food influencers and even have a folder dedicated to saving recipes.
When the kids were younger, any effort I put into a meal that was met with groans and complaints usually led to the same outcome: simple, repetitive meals that allowed me to feed them quickly and get everyone settled for the night.
Others seem to have done the opposite in midlife. Now that their kids are gone, they’ve stopped cooking altogether. Perhaps that’s more common.
My three sons are adults now, and when they visit, they have a newfound appreciation for home-cooked meals. An adult palate is very different from a child’s. I do still hear complaints about the lack of junk food and snacks in the house, but I simply laugh.
Cooking has become something just for me. It’s no longer about pleasing everyone, meeting preferences, or managing complaints. It’s about curiosity, nourishment, and taking the time to care for myself in a way I didn’t realize I was missing. In this season of midlife, so much has been stripped back to the essentials. Learning to cook…slowly, imperfectly, and on my own terms, feels like a small but meaningful reclaiming of who I am now, and who I’m still becoming.
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