Parental Lessons and Safety Nets. When to Let Go

When it comes to parental lessons, I have learned more about myself than I ever thought possible. There comes a time when you should no longer enable or set up safety nets for your child. This is especially true as they enter adulthood. The following is a story about how I tried to fix a situation and couldn’t.

The Scene

The sun set as he and his friends passed Little Rock Arkansas on I-40.  They were eager to return home after a couple of days in Texas at SXSW.   Driving at what I can only assume was highway speed, the car’s tire popped.  One could say that the tire popped in the middle of nowhere since Little Rock was behind them, hundreds of miles of farmland were ahead of them and they were 800 miles away from home.

Hey Mom!

The phone rang and I answered with fear in my voice.My son was on the caller ID. I am not ashamed to admit that I tracked his progress and location as he drove across the country.

“Hi Mom,” he said. “I was driving and my tire popped. I’m in the middle of nowhere, actually I don’t know exactly where I am. I think I just passed Little Rock.

My thoughts immediately turned to AAA. Before he left, I made him grab the membership card. Honestly, I freaked out and researched repair shops and their business hours, desperate to solve the problem.

No Safety Net Needed

My texts were rapid fire. He finally told me to stop, insisting that the barrage of messages was worse and that he would handle everything.

He downloaded the AAA app, pressed the roadside assistance button and the app identified his exact location to their roadside team.   In less than 50 minutes they found him, assessed that the tire is beyond repair, and helped him put on the spare. They then directed him to a Walmart SuperCenter back in Little Rock which opened the next day.  He reserved a hotel room across the street from Walmart, had a good night’s sleep, and was there when they opened. He took care of all of it. The car was repaired within 11 minutes.

AAA

I rarely plug a product, service or organization but my love for my son and the emotional relief we have received from simply having AAA is worth talking about.   It’s been six years since we became members, when my first son was a new driver.  Having a AAA membership has given us peace of mind.

Let Them Make Mistakes

As your child ages, they need to make their own mistakes and trust me, they make quite a few.  It’s good to know that there are some things that you can do to encourage independence. and confidence. This was a good lesson for my son and an even more important one for me.  His first reaction was disbelief that he had to “wait” to continue driving because all repair shops were closed.  Life throws you curve balls and how you respond to them is just as important as what you learn from them.  My son took care of his friends, handled the repair shop and made sure the car was in good shape before he continued on his journey today.

And my lesson?  I worried needlessly for two hours.  He can take care of himself and he did take care of himself.  I need to work more on letting go, but I’m sure glad we had a little bit of a safety net in place.  I will also renew AAA.


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Lorraine Lundqvist

A blog highlighting my journey through midlife and beyond. Join me as I enjoy the ups and humorous downs of life over 40.

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