Even in the year 2024, people are social distancing in specific circumstances. It’s been over three years since the pandemic first started. I’ve learned that there is a shortage of love, respect and tolerance. Perhaps this is the real cause of divisiveness in the world, and a certain sickness within our souls. The divide that has opened up between friends and family during the pandemic has been caused by this “sickness,” and not by a virus or politics.
Why Do I Sometimes Still Engage in Social Distancing?
Although I no longer wear a mask in public, there are times when I will refer back to social distancing practices. If a friend says she’s sick but refuses to test for Covid, I’ll choose to stay home. I’ll go to the theater for live performances but if someone around me is coughing, I will discreetly take out my mask. I always wear a N95 on the airplane and skip eating food or drinking any beverage, especially on international flights. On the opposite side of the coin, I’ll go grocery shopping or attend a graduation party without masking and without worrying too much. I simply have my own social distancing scenarios and I respect others that do as well. There are many different examples of social distancing practices.
Nothing says more about a person than how they handle differences of opinions of social distancing. This isn’t new to me, I also didn’t send my kid to school when they had a fever because I wanted to protect the other kids. As we all know, there are many others who wouldn’t think twice about sending a sick kid to daycare or school.
An Example of Understanding
During the pandemic my book club decided to have an in-person meeting. We opened up a discussion about comfort levels and there was a wide spectrum of views on social distancing. Some of our members were very casual about COVID-19, stating that eventually, we were all going to get it. Others expressed a desire to meet only outside, and some chose to put the meetings on hold. What was encouraging, within the realm of all of these opinions, was the complete lack of judgment or criticism and the unconditional support for our differences. I would like to say that our meeting was perfect, but it was not. However, not one negative word was spoken as one of us moved across the porch, another wore a mask and yet another decided to leave. What remained constant was the love and respect that all had for one another. The meeting wasn’t perfect and maybe we could have done better, but the beauty and the intent were there. I think we’ll be ready for the next one.
Respect and Social Distancing
What is respect? Respect is the “due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others.” It does not say that you give that respect to a person only if you agree with them. The very concept means you are open and flexible, willing to compromise, with love and patience. It means that if you love someone and they are being extremely cautious with COVID-19, even if you are not, then you take the steps that are needed to see that person within the realm of their acceptable risk. That doesn’t work for you? That’s OK! Just let that person go with love and honesty and do not make them feel broken, weird, or wrong for handling this pandemic in their own way. The opposite does not hold true. You cannot expect someone who is taking strict measures to suddenly open up to risk. I think when we have these strong differences we have to find the strength to be brave. We have to talk and disagree and understand each other. Will there always be a compromise? Probably not, but I’m convinced that friendships get stronger when love and respect are intertwined and are an active part of our lives. Do I always succeed at this? Absolutely not, but I am learning and striving every day to be a better person.
Respect, Honesty and Vulnerability
Respect means kindness when someone is vulnerable. When we know that someone feels a certain way about social distancing, we have an obligation to be honest about our own exposure. COVID-19 has brought trust and partnership to the forefront of our relationships. As people get COVID cranky (thanks friend for that phrase, you know who you are), they tend to loosen their restrictions, but it’s important to be mindful that your grandmother or neighbor may not feel the same way. Be honest with your friends and family. Do not choose for them, let them choose to take the risk of exposure. Go forward with understanding.
Respect and Compromise
Respect means compromise. You sacrifice your desire to be right, your tendency to argue your points, and your judgment. You sacrifice your control and your ego. Some of us do not want to sacrifice for the sake of others. It is a choice that you make every day. If you decide to wear a mask or decide not to wear a mask, you are communicating whether you have respect for the person next to you. Compromising on social distancing is an act of love.
Who do you want to be?
Respect is about love. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Sometimes people won’t love you. They may try to make you feel bad about your choices, scoffing at your cautiousness. Do not be afraid to love and value yourself. Set boundaries and don’t apologize for having self-respect and protecting the ones you love.
We will all get through this, in different ways and we can only do our best. Have faith in yourself and your choices. Have hope in humanity and science. Deal with it all with love in your heart. Live your life, cherish it, and be unapologetic about how you do so. We are now entering the flu season and although we are so tired, we can do hard things.
Never forget this basic truth. “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.“
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