Once Upon a Time
Once upon a time, there was a child who had the most uncanny ability to see the good and beauty in all of her friends. The heart of this child was young and pure and stayed that way throughout the years. In fact, more often than not, this child would put other people’s needs first. She never walked away from a friend. This continued for a very long time until……
Difficult Truths
The child became an adult. This was not timed by developmental stages or years but was met through life and love, by success and failure. The number one lesson in life and the basic truth is that not all people think in the same way. She learned that the truth is that humans, by their very nature, have levels of good and bad inside of their hearts and souls. Sometimes, even if someone has some very good character traits, they should not be in your life because their bad traits may be too destructive and darker than your heart can handle. This does not make them a bad person, it just doesn’t make them YOUR person.
Signs You’ve Outgrown a Friend
- You’re the giver and they’re the taker.
- They have traits that are in conflict with your core values.
- You have this intuitive feeling or feel a bit ill when they’re around. Listen to your intuition. Negative energy is real!
- When they still have cliques and like to leave people out.
- When you have grown and they have not.
When To Walk Away From a Friend
Today I tell my children; “Treat others as you would want to be treated, unless you continuously put yourself on the sacrificial altar of their selfishness, hypocrisy, or lack of consideration. Then you may silently, and with grace….walk away.”
Surround yourself with people who love as you love. Fiercely. Honestly. Bravely. You deserve that. We all do.
It’s OK to Grieve
Whether it’s a friendship or a more serious relationship, it’s common to talk yourself into “staying.” Maybe there are four out of five traits you like about a person but this one “fifth” trait, this conflict of values or serious character flaw sets off alarm bells. We tend to focus on the four good traits and overlook the fourth. Isn’t it just math? Not in matters of the heart it’s not. A personality or character trait that is toxic outweighs the good in many cases. We just have a hard time loving ourselves enough to admit it.
And it’s OK to grieve the loss of that friend. But look at it as moving forward in life, to finding people who you can trust, share and confide in. Those who will laugh and lift you up. If it’s time, then allow yourself to walk away from those things that no longer serve you, even if it is a friend.
When do you walk away from a friend? You do this when they are no longer one.
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