Midlife Depression

Why Did I Wake Up Like This?

What is wrong with me today? The day started out as an ordinary day, although the dark cloudy sky and heavy fog were enough to dampen anyone’s spirits. I woke up with a feeling of depression. When I entered midlife, anxiety started to knock at the door especially when driving. This felt different, almost like a physical weight on my heart.

I sent the kids off to school and fell apart. Tears formed in my eyes, I lacked motivation and just felt heavy and dark. I’m a very positive person and this was unusual. There was no specific trigger. I now know that depression can be an independent entity. That didn’t stop me from questioning myself. My life is good, I have a roof over my head, a loving husband, and beautiful children. What was my problem?

Empaths and Emotional Exhaustion

After a very deep and meaningful conversation with my eldest son, it became apparent that I was mentally and emotionally spent. As a very empathetic person, I tend to absorb the emotions of those around me. Members of my family have had a tough week and it was wearing me down. A nasty comment made at school, a stressful test, a challenge at work, and other constant stories filled my days. Outside of family, I have had many conversations with different friends, and in typical female custom, we share our highs and lows and those emotions also found their way into my heart.

Isn’t this Just a Midlife Crisis?

Not necessarily. A midlife crisis and midlife depression can involve feelings of discontent and emotional turmoil during middle age. However, a midlife crisis is more focused on existential and lifestyle issues, often triggered by external events. A midlife depression is a clinical condition characterized by persistent depressive symptoms that may require professional intervention.

The Difference Between Midlife Crisis and Midlife Depression

I have had many friends struggle with depression in midlife. It is not the same as a midlife crisis. During a midlife crisis, you can have a burst of energy and even make rash decisions. Depression is physical and weighs you down. The difference is said best in this mental health blog: “

“They both also concern thinking about yourself a lot, and your place in the world. But a midlife crisis is about who you are. Have you done enough? What is the point of your life? Who do you want to be? Depression is more about what you are – in this case, from your perspective, useless and a failure.”

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Signs of Midlife Depression

Signs of midlife depression can also coincide with insomnia and changes in sleep habits and appetite. Often, depression can come with an overwhelming feeling of sadness and a lack of interest in previously enjoyed activities. Some people withdraw from social interactions and experience elevated levels of anxiety.

Characteristics of Midlife Depression

• Midlife depression is truly clinical. It’s characterized by persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and a loss of interest or pleasure in activities that were once enjoyable.
• Unlike a midlife crisis, midlife depression is a recognized mental health condition. Please seek help, you are not imagining things!
• Midlife depression may occur independently of any external triggers or life events, although significant stressors such as work or relationship problems can exacerbate symptoms. I think this is why when I took too many people’s problems into my own heart, the situation worsened.
• Treatment for midlife depression often involves a combination of therapy, medication, and lifestyle changes. This can help you address underlying factors contributing to the depression.
• Midlife depression can be brought on by hormonal changes.

Take Care of Your Soul

In life you need to not only take care of your body, you need to take care of your soul. I had let so much emotional toxic waste into my life this week and the result was a feeling of stress, anxiety, and depression. So I took my son’s advice. I rode my spin bike and did a yoga class. Exercise is seriously magic. It cleared my head and lifted my spirits. I showered and put on makeup and put on my favorite t-shirt. After taking care of myself, I sat down to write these words as a positive outlet. If I feel this way how many of you feel this way? Maybe by sharing my ups and downs, it will help you realize you are not alone.

Stress, anxiety, and depression are intertwined soulmates. We can’t always control what goes on in our own lives but we can control how much negativity from others we absorb. For me, it means limiting my engagement with others, listening more and commenting less, and having the alone time that I need. I feel better now and am going to try to remind myself that my time and energy are valuable and it’s OK to protect and honor those parts of me. Repeat after me…

Self-care is healthy.