BAH HUMBUG! After making breakfast and going over my “to-do” list three days before Christmas, I asked my husband about his plans. “Maybe I’ll work on some programming, call my parents, and well, my throat is a bit scratchy.” What was my response when he asked me about my day? There are presents to wrap, a ham to pick up, and grocery shopping for Christmas Eve dinner. Then cookies to bake, cleaning to do, and food to order for the brunch you are hosting here for colleagues. Afterwards, ‘m going to feed the reindeer and kick our elves to the curb because they don’t do shit around the house! Santa is definitely a woman.
Breathe in. Breathe out. You’ve got this Santa. Who the hell ever thought that Santa was a man?
Santa is a woman
We are the ones who get plump, round and jolly after eating the cookies. We make the toys for the elves. Those little short stuffs don’t do anything around the house, instead, they write long Christmas lists that read like a last will and testament. Maybe, just maybe we intentionally buy them underwear to see their faces on Christmas morning. Mom shops for the presents and spreads Christmas joy to Amazon and UPS.
Santa Mom’s To Do List
Santa is the woman who saved all of the kids’ ornaments. Her kids made them in pre-school and want to see them on the tree every year. She hangs the candy canes, plays the Christmas music (weeks before the holiday season), and freezes her ass off hanging lights outside. Mr. Claus is on a business trip. This is magic people! Don’t you feel the magic? Santa feels it! She felt it when she and her two youngest kids got into a rip roaring fight over the gingerbread house. OH isn’t this fun? The roof kept sliding off, the walls caved in and looked like a house of horrors not a winter wonderland.
Embrace the Chaos?
I know we are supposed to embrace the chaos. I’m embracing by also stress eating. I have a very long sleigh ride in a couple of days and need the fat to keep warm. Christmas cards? Oh, you didn’t get one from me? I’m so sorry! I’m not a big fan of perfect family Christmas cards. My family is messy, live in sweatpants and most of the time we hardly like each other. Our dogs are cute, smelly and dirty.
And yet I do love the craziness of this time of year. I’ve learned from the best. My mom always made the holidays special, especially Christmas when she usually went all out. She baked the cookies, decorated the house, and always made us participate in decorating the tree. She was the Santa that allowed us to wake her and my father up at the crack of dawn so we could tear open our gifts. My mom brought us the magic every single year and as I embrace, complain and reflect, I feel an overwhelming amount of love for her and the traditions that she has passed down.
During this holiday time, no matter what holiday you celebrate, I hope you enjoy the love and warmth of family and friends. Happy Holidays! Merry Christmas! Happy New Year to you all!
Just remember. Santa is a woman.
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